2020 Vision, Baby

I started this blog two years ago and I'll be honest - I haven't done the best job of keeping it up. I also have a poetry account which I have been neglecting as well. 🙃Here's to me making a resolution to be better lol.

My first blog post was an ode to 2017 and the ridiculousness of it all. Since then, so much has happened. It's been a wild two years. It's now the end of 2019 and I currently find myself home for the holidays, sitting at my local coffee shop, watching the sunset and reflecting on all that 2019 has given. As tomorrow marks the beginning of a new decade, I'm reminded of the continuous ebbs and flows of life and how this ride is an ever-changing, ever-exciting and ever-beautiful one.

So let's get to the biggest change of 2019....I MOVED TO LOS ANGELES. I've been there since May and my oh my has it been a crazy adventure. I'm basically living the fantasy life that I envisioned in my head, but it's muddled with the reality of being a young millennial struggling to make it in the world. It's not all bad, just drastically different than life in Hawaii. I mean, I get to do social media for INCREDIBLE clients, work with talented and experienced professionals and even work a red carpet or two. I work a lot though. Between my regular job and my side business, it's a 24/7 commitment to the digital marketing world. I find that balancing responsibilities (like rent, laundry, cleaning, food), a social life (aka let's get tacos and drink wine at home) and work (a non-stop relationship with my phone) has begun to take a toll on me; It's difficult and a daily struggle, but I know that this is part of the necessary growing pains of being an adult.

My mental health has also been challenged with this incredible life change. For a good month, I think I was having a continuous anxiety attack. My depression has been more and more difficult to combat and it's been kinda lonely. But I'm constantly busy so I have seldom time to let it take hold and I know that transitions are hard (even if it's been 8 months already). Every day is a new day.

I've been challenged mentally, emotionally and physically by this year and I am so grateful. As shitty as it is sometimes, I know that the perseverance, faith and gratitude that comes from this growth is only prepping me for amazing blessings to come.

2019 has also been a year of reconnecting and shifts in perspectives. No longer will I just be a passenger in the car watching the universe put things in front of me, but I'm going to drive a bit more. I don't mind riding in the car sometimes, but I'm not going to let others continue to take the wheel. Wondering "what if" or "I should have" is something I want to do less of in 2020.

There's honestly so much I can say about this year and about the people who have entered and exited my life. The support and love that has been shown to me is overwhelming and I don't express my gratitude enough:

To my supportive, loving, stuck-like-glue friends in LA - thank you for helping me through this year. I don't know how I would have done this without you. I literally could not have. You know who you are.

To my family and friends in Hawaii - I can feel the love and support and constant faith across the ocean. Nothing and no one could ever replace home. Distance is just distance...we always come back.

To my friends in Europe and other parts of the U.S. - Time difference changes are brutal (and also daylight savings, like wtf now I have to deal with that), but no matter what time zone we're in, we manage to find ways of connecting and supporting that I hope never fades. I couldn't do any of this without you, too. You know who you are.

To me - You did it, kid. You made 2019 a year that you'll never forget. You manifested your goals and made them come true and now look at you - living in LA, working in social media. You have awesome friends, incredible family, wonderful co-workers and all the necessities to survive on your own like this for the first time. You're killing it. Don't be so hard on yourself in 2020 and don't forget to give yourself the amount of love, support and acceptance you try to give to others; you deserve it too. Don't restrict yourself from doing the things you love because you don't "have time" or "can't afford to." Your happiness is important. Make that a priority, too. You've grown so much in 2019 and have become stronger, more resilient, more confident. 2020 will also be your year. Don't stop. I believe in you.

I can't wait to see what 2020 has in store and I can't wait for you to come along with me.

P.S. I promise I'll try to do better with keeping up this blog. 🙃